Hi Prithika,
This guy I’m seeing wants me send him nude pics. I want to, but then I hear of people’s ‘leaked’ nude pics online. I’m already worried about all the naked and semi-naked pics of me out there! Shall I send them anyway? I can’t let fear affect my sex life, right? – Pussy Selfie

Hey Pussy Selfie,

I know what you mean. I’m really counting on the technical ineptitude and shitty phones of the guys I’ve sent pics to.

Let’s get our terminology straight first. The act of sexual violence you’re afraid of is called Revenge Porn, when a person makes or shares images of someone else without their consent. A man who digitally violates your body, should be treated by you, your society and the law, as a man who physically violates you. It’s more commonly done to women who like to have sex. The new face of an ancient concept: slut shaming.

If the other person takes the picture, you have much less control over it. But if you take the picture and send it, there are ways to make this safe-r (nothing is 100% asshole-proof). Use apps with end-to-end encryption which don’t require registry with a mobile number, unlike (idiot) Snapchat which wants your number and stores pics for up to 24hrs. Confide and Wickr are apps which make screen printing harder and tell you when someone tries.

Download the zine ‘manda nudes’ in English or Spanish on: www.codingrights.org. Coding Rights is a group of tech women in Brazil who work for human rights in the digital sphere. They’re cool. Check them out. Happy sexting!

Epa chica,
What do mujeres wish I did more in sex? And what do they wish I did menos? Dime. I wanna improve. I wanna be the best! – The Best (soon)

Dear The Best (soon),
Interesting question. Sounds like a job for the BCN Més Fuckus Group.

The Lady Fuckus Group
Ladies, what do you wish men did more during sex?

Get verbal confirmation that you like what they’re doing. Not the ego yell ‘Is this the best fuck you’ve ever had?’ Just a simple ‘Are you okay?’

  • Running around the bedroom dressed as a chicken. Surprising me naked in the lift.
  • Whisper and talk more. More fantasy stuff!
  • Be generous with oral sex. Guys think a blow job should be a part of every normal fuck, but oral sex on her is a special treat once every 10-15 fucks. Uh, we like the primer plato as much as you guys. And kisses down my back. They feel tingly!

What do you wish they did less of?

  • Assume that because you initially liked a change of position, you’ll be able to climax there. Sometimes the novelty wears off and I’m like, meh. They can fix this with the verbal confirmation thing.
  • Running around the bedroom dressed as a chicken. Surprising me naked in the lift.
  • Talking. I hate the ones that talk during sex. I mean, one “I’ll fuck you harder than anyone” is ok, but an entire narration of the ‘event’ is not.

And because I too want to be The Best (soon), I did one for the boys.

The Gentleman Fuckus Group
Gents, what do you wish women did more during sex?

  • Attention to balls. Women seem to forget this is an erogenous zone or are too afraid to hurt them. More communication. You’d be surprised at the number of women who don’t like to talk about what they want sexually, or what you want. So I end up having to guess.
  • Get as horny and turned on as I do and come with me.
  • I wish they liked to play with my cum more, and behaved more naturally (some act like porn stars).
  • I would like more saliva in blowjobs. Don’t be shy, we can mop up.

What do you wish they did less of?

  • Biting, scratching neck, back, etc. I’m sure this turns some guys on, but not me. Fewer hang-ups about body image, and less fancy scratchy pubic grooming.
  • Taking ages to come.
  • Teasing me towards a direction/position you don’t really want.
  • Nipple play. It’s barely an erogenous zone. Give it courtesy attention before moving on to the VIPs.